Cell Phones

 Is it asking too much to have a mobile phone that does one element well? For instance, act like a cellphone. I don't want a digicam. I don't want voice recognition. I don't want a phrase processor. I don't want a recorder. I do not want a Clay Aiken love track as a ring-tone. I don't want news bulletins. I don't need stock tickers. I don't need a daily horoscope. I do not need a funny story of the day. I don't need a TV. I don't need film trailers either. I actually have a ship load of technology for all that stuff.

What I want is a phone. You know, one I can bring with me that lets in me to ship or acquire some thing defined as a "telephone call". Now I'm no longer being picky but it would also be high-quality if the telephone worked in such a manner that I would possibly listen the man or woman on the opposite quit without having to shove the whole thing into my ear canal  or 3 inches. And if this could all be done with the assurance that I'm not adding cancer cells to what's already a damaged brain, properly then, that would be swell. Is that asking an excessive amount of?

I simply want a phone, which is derived from the Greek phrase "cellphone", whose translation, of all crazy things, is "voice"!

I suppose this all got here to a head once I recently upgraded my cellular cellphone to 1 of these RAZRs. It's skinny. It folds. It's smooth to carry. That's sufficient generation for me. Now if it is able to just be a telephone, it'd be ideal. But regrettably, it's not. It's a swiss navy knife for people who have to pay attention, examine and notice the whole thing about every person, everywhere, each second of the day. So it comes packaged with an proprietor's guide as thick as a Clinton memoir, and simply barely much less interesting. The handbook is so complex that it's accompanied by means of a quick reference manual--the inoperative word being "brief", considering a purse is needed to hold it. And I'm no longer about to begin doing that. I've got sufficient identification troubles as it's far.

It's not all bad though. The cellphone comes with a CD that when you skip through all the shameless plugs for VCAST, sends you to a internet site. And in case you click on via a half dozen more commercials, it subsequently lands you at a very quality interactive reference guide, which I recommend you bookmark. That manner you do not want to load up the CD every time you have a question. Like the opposite day I became at a baseball (generic term). Somehow, I had pressed a secret button that sent my phone into VCAST mode. I needed to make an real name and wasn't certain a way to get back to smartphone mode without signing up for VCAST for ten years. Fortunately, I happened to have my laptop PC and reveal with me. Ever considering that I offered this telephone, I cart around my reference equipment anywhere I move. Yes, it is a tad gauche but pretty on hand. Anyway, I'd say approximately 5 mins later, I had my solution, and I never wanted the CD.

I think for some, the video bells and whistles are fun in a actual self-indulging manner. That's nice while you recognise the way to use them. But what about the challenged? Like me? I attempted the digicam. Big mistake. Played with the button at the same time as protecting the telephone in my lap. Took a close up photograph of my crotch by mistake. The pants had the bunched up aspect taking place too. In my try to delete it, I made it the background photograph. Can't cast off it. Yeah, it's embarrassing to lend my cellphone to a person. So I don't any greater, which upsets my friends, which I have fewer of now. Yeah, that video stuff isn't for me but as least I get the attraction.

What I don't get, and but what seems most famous, is text messaging. I think I recognize the underlying precept. Instead of the usage of the telephone to speak with someone with the aid of voice in actual-time, I'll pay two times as tons every month for the privilege of the usage of a 10 digit keypad to kind obtuse, brief messages--you understand, like "U R L8". It's like using the smartphone to make vanity license plates for God's sake. What's next? People in networked cafes protecting their laptops up to their ear and mouth to make smartphone calls, which is all I need to do with my cellular cellphone?

Why might all of us need to text a person besides, whilst speaking seems so much more smooth and engaging? Might it's due to the fact you're in a situation where calling a person could be rude? For example, you're at dinner with a boring date. So, in place of excusing yourself to make a name from the restroom, your head abruptly tilts Load Cells enough to allow your eyes dart to the smartphone buried for your lap and snap back to feign interest to the witless speak you so desperately want to get away. You frantically press your cellular telephone keypad as in case you are thumb wrestling it for the life of your first-born. Your lips curl with attention, alternating from one aspect to the opposite. A little bit of your tongue stands out of the nook, as you end the probing message that need to get to the outside international, "wat u doin". You send it off. You believe your date has now not observed. Success.

Dream on. You had been as discreet because the sounding of a highly spiced burrito fart in a crowded elevator.

I don't know. It need to be me. I listen my phone playing Rachmaninoff right now. Don't recognise why. Don't recognise the way to forestall it either. Sometimes I visit voice mail and pay attention new messages human beings despatched me weeks ago. Sometimes I get my own messages that I left other humans months ago. I even get messages from useless people. They seem content with the aid of the manner. The white cotton gowns breathe well. Foods warm and tastefully pro. The simplest grievance up to now, the strains to play bocce ball are long.